This one really landed, Shane. Thanks for sharing so openly.
I’m in my 6th year of recovery and still, the ongoing lesson is that my thoughts can be informative without being authoritative. They don’t all deserve a vote.
That's such a great notion to discover - "informative without being authoritative." It's a level of self-understanding that isn't available at first (at least it wasn't for me). It took me such a long time to even understand that a dominant thought doesn't have to take over; doesn't have to run things. To know that I can choose how to respond to it is a beautiful thing 🤌🏼
Depression played a big part in my own journey. It used to appear every couple of months. I'd take to my bed.
The worst episode was five years after I quit alcohol. Back then I worked full-time as a freelance writer. I lost my main client, and I spiraled. I needed to find replacement work, but instead I took to my bed. I felt crippled by shame and fear that I'd let my family down. It stayed like this a few days. The thought of drinking didn't enter my head, but the idea of jumping off a cliff did.
One of the problems with depression and anxiety is that everything would seem impossible when I was in that state. My mind was coming up with solutions, but they would instantly be rejected. I finally remembered to use a breathing technique to quieten down the mind. It worked. As things began to settle, the negative thoughts began to lose their grip on me, and I could see more clearly.
It's been thirteen years since that happened, and I've never suffered from depression again. I still get low periods. Sometimes I might even go to bed a bit earlier, but I'm no longer afraid. I have a system.
Thanks for sharing, Paul. Congrats on 13 years depression-free and 18 years sober (if my math's right). That's a great summation of how depression feels, and an even better story of overcoming it. I love the confidence in that last line, "I have a system." It really changes everything once you can trust that.
I hope to get where you are with my depression. Nearly five years sober and I still get it 2-3 times a year. But it's so much more manageable now that my systems are in place.
I messed up the maths Shane, I was 20 years free of alcohol last week.
Getting to grips with depression and anxiety was just as important for me as giving up alcohol. Of course, I couldn't even begin this until I stopped drinking. Realizing I coukd get through it without running away made such a huge difference. Congratulations on five years.
20 is even better - congrats on that for sure, Paul.
I'm hoping that by actively working through depression, really embracing my tools and systems when it comes, I will see a calendar year pass without it someday. But if it must remain a part of my life, at least now I know I can survive and even thrive in it.
Shane~ such a valuable writing. The further I travel my sober journey, I really feel this is how all lives would be best lived. It's learning how to deal with life w/o escaping, giving up, shutting down completely. I'm so grateful being sober for me means learning this bit by bit, time after time and seeing i can trust myself to figure things out and roll more easily when times are very challenging. Thank you as slays for putting voice to the incredible gift of sobriety✨️
Great reflections, Claire. I appreciate the bit by bit part, the gradual development, the time. It all leads to self-trust, which is a wonderful thing to feel. Thanks for the feedback 🙏🏼
This one really landed, Shane. Thanks for sharing so openly.
I’m in my 6th year of recovery and still, the ongoing lesson is that my thoughts can be informative without being authoritative. They don’t all deserve a vote.
Thanks Allison 🙏🏼
That's such a great notion to discover - "informative without being authoritative." It's a level of self-understanding that isn't available at first (at least it wasn't for me). It took me such a long time to even understand that a dominant thought doesn't have to take over; doesn't have to run things. To know that I can choose how to respond to it is a beautiful thing 🤌🏼
Thanks for your perspective
Yup. It’s a lesson I keep learning/re-learning. It’s taken me a while to trust that the dominant thought doesn’t need me to chase it. ;-)
Depression played a big part in my own journey. It used to appear every couple of months. I'd take to my bed.
The worst episode was five years after I quit alcohol. Back then I worked full-time as a freelance writer. I lost my main client, and I spiraled. I needed to find replacement work, but instead I took to my bed. I felt crippled by shame and fear that I'd let my family down. It stayed like this a few days. The thought of drinking didn't enter my head, but the idea of jumping off a cliff did.
One of the problems with depression and anxiety is that everything would seem impossible when I was in that state. My mind was coming up with solutions, but they would instantly be rejected. I finally remembered to use a breathing technique to quieten down the mind. It worked. As things began to settle, the negative thoughts began to lose their grip on me, and I could see more clearly.
It's been thirteen years since that happened, and I've never suffered from depression again. I still get low periods. Sometimes I might even go to bed a bit earlier, but I'm no longer afraid. I have a system.
Thanks for sharing, Paul. Congrats on 13 years depression-free and 18 years sober (if my math's right). That's a great summation of how depression feels, and an even better story of overcoming it. I love the confidence in that last line, "I have a system." It really changes everything once you can trust that.
I hope to get where you are with my depression. Nearly five years sober and I still get it 2-3 times a year. But it's so much more manageable now that my systems are in place.
I appreciate the encouraging perspective 🙏🏼
I messed up the maths Shane, I was 20 years free of alcohol last week.
Getting to grips with depression and anxiety was just as important for me as giving up alcohol. Of course, I couldn't even begin this until I stopped drinking. Realizing I coukd get through it without running away made such a huge difference. Congratulations on five years.
20 is even better - congrats on that for sure, Paul.
I'm hoping that by actively working through depression, really embracing my tools and systems when it comes, I will see a calendar year pass without it someday. But if it must remain a part of my life, at least now I know I can survive and even thrive in it.
Shane~ such a valuable writing. The further I travel my sober journey, I really feel this is how all lives would be best lived. It's learning how to deal with life w/o escaping, giving up, shutting down completely. I'm so grateful being sober for me means learning this bit by bit, time after time and seeing i can trust myself to figure things out and roll more easily when times are very challenging. Thank you as slays for putting voice to the incredible gift of sobriety✨️
Great reflections, Claire. I appreciate the bit by bit part, the gradual development, the time. It all leads to self-trust, which is a wonderful thing to feel. Thanks for the feedback 🙏🏼
This resonated not with, but for me, today. I’m so grateful that I curled up on my bed and read it. Thank you, Shane.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, Kerry. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment 🙏🏼